Here are some of my favourite combinations

Banana and Cinnamon

Makes one medium to large glass

• 1 banana
• 1/2 – 1 teaspoon of cinnamon depending on your tastes
• Half a cup of greek yoghurt or milk

• A handful of frozen berries or berry flavouring
• 1 Banana
• 1/2 cup of apple juice (or a green apple)
• 1 tablespoon of spiralina

Spiralina often comes powdered or in liquid form. It’s not the cheapest thing in the world but it’s ridiculously good for you. This smoothy tends to look kinda gross, with the pink of the berries and the green of the spiralina, but it tastes great and the benefits of drinking something gross looking is that nobody tries to steal it.

• 1 slice of pineapple
• 1 orange
• 1 kiwifruit or fejoa
• Ice

Banana coconut

This smoothie’s not the healthiest in the world, but it’s a nice treat.

• 1/2 of coconut milk or coconut water
• 1 banana

Pina colada smoothie

• 1/2 cup of coconut milk
• 1 slice of pineapple
• 1/2 – 1 teaspoon of cinnamon to taste
• Ice

You can even add rum if you want

Bought smoothies

You can buy smoothies pretty much anywhere near, but in terms of cost effectiveness it’s better to make your own, even if you make them in the morning with ice and they’ll be nice and cold for lunch at work after a good stirring. Sometimes bought smoothies also aren’t super healthy, using ice cream or powders or syrups instead of actual fruit. Even the more expensive fruits like berries and pineapple are cheaper than buying a smoothie. That being said, in the foodcourt at the local plaza I pick a smoothie above a burger anyday.

I know it’s hard for some people to understand the way that I see animals. To me they hold not only the same basic value as humans, but more, because in essence, they are innocent. They lack true malice or hatred, they lack true conniving and they live their lives with such vitality that it grounds us, just for a little while.

They are living breathing miracles, the result of millions of years of evolution, thousands upon thousands of minute changes, the result of lives both tranquil and bloody gone years before they were born. And they live and die and change and adapt. And they make our world beautiful. Every species, every individual has their own mind, their own personalities, social structure, thought patterns, emotions, ideas and concepts.

Nippy, Cookie and Smooch (we were kids, ok?). My Dad was working on a building site on a farm, and the farmer appeared, stuck his hand down a hole, pulled out eight kittens, tossed three at my dad, killed the other five on the spot, and drove off.

I came home from school that day to find the cat cage filled with straw and inside a plastic nail box, three grey bunnies, small enough to fit in your palm.

We rang the vets, and discovered that condensed milk and water would serve until we could get some milk replacement powder.

We fed them wrapped up in a towel, with an eyedropper.

We weren’t the best owners in the world. We were kids, we did stupid things to show off to friends, and the poor bunnies put up with a lot. But they grew, they thrived.

The cats used to sit and stare at the hutches for hours on end. They’d continue to be surprised and offended when the bunnies would come up and touch noses with them through the wire mesh.

As time went on, they got less attention. Sometimes it upset me. They technically belonged to my sister. I wanted them to be mine, or at least mine enough so I could step in – but I always want to step in. I worry so much about letting the ones I care for down but also can’t stand to think of the possibility that others might too.

We lost the first, Nippy according to my sister (I could never tell them apart) and my favourite. We think a cat got him. For the first time ever, he chewed his way out and didn’t come back. They normally treated the place like a motel, and they never went far. He would’ve been about seven.

We lost the next one, Cookie, when he was about 8 or 9. Old age we think. He just got thinner and thinner, the vets didn’t have any answers. But he went peacefully.

A year or so ago, Smooch got sick. We don’t know what caused it, but he stopped eating. When rabbits stop eating they die very quickly, their metabolisms move so fast. So I had to force feed him, on the vets instructions. I spent a week feeding him every 30 minutes to 4 hours. It was stressful on him to bring him inside so I’d crouch down by the hutch for 20 minutes or so and dribble everything from pureed pineapple, electrolytes, probiotics, painkillers, and gut stimulants into his mouth in half ml amounts. Then I’d rub his belly. And I’d hear the bubbles moving. And I’d go back inside and I’d wait.

I rang half the rabbit breeders in the country, and harassed some poor lady at the local university. I spent the time in between feeding sessions on the internet, talking to anybody who would help. I got so much conflicting information, and a lot of abuse from so many people.

On the fifth day, there was poop in his cage. Can you imagine ever being so happy to see rabbit crap? I was crying with releif.

That is how much we love our animals.

And we buried him yesterday.

As the furry and feathered members of our family grow increasingly older, the nature of mortality looms ever larger on the horizon. My pony will be 30 this august, he’s over 100 in horse years. My cat was 17 last month. And Smooch was 12 – double the normal lifespan for a rabbit.  Even the ones I had always thought of as young – Toby, our tame rabbit who thinks he’s wild, Mischeif, our other cat, and Lucifer, the lovebird, are already at the line of middle age and moving toward the horizon. They’re getting older, life is moving on.

I’m scared. They’re so strongly woven into the fabric of my life, I can’t imagine a world without them. I just… I hope that even when they close their eyes for the last time, that they won’t truly be leaving. Just…changing, becoming part of everything else.

It’s funny. When we’ve buried our pets together, we never say much, not like a eulogy. I’m not sure if it’s because we all know the sentiment, or because we’re nervous. When I’ve buried animals on my own I tend to say a couple of things. But together, we don’t say much. Mother talked a bit about how he went – peacefully, in his sleep. I think it’s how she processes it, and I think it helps her to think she’s reassuring us.  I do hope it was peaceful. He was very thin, but he always moved well, ate plenty, tolerated us patting him. He was never sickly. I hope, we all hope, he just went to sleep.

My instinct, whenever I visit the burial sites of any of our lost ones is to say how sorry I am, over and over. Because, there’s always something I could have done. It’s not those flimsy “if I’d just checked at the right second then maybe the full moon wouldn’t have been shining in the wrong direction” ones we come up with to justify what happened, it’s real stuff, important stuff that I could have done, that might have made a difference. It also might not have, but I’ll never know, will I?

But, there’s something else now too. I’m grateful. I’m grateful for 12 years, and while some of those years I wasn’t attentive, and others I was stupid and childish, and in those 12 not a single one was I everything he deserved. So while I will always regret never being able to give the ones I care for the lives they deserve, I am also grateful, so endlessly, eternally grateful, to have had such wonderful, living, breathing miracles in my awkward little life.

Smooch hasn’t just given me 12 years, he’s given me his lifetime, and he’s given me my own lifetime in which to remember him. My grandmother still talks about a parrot her mother had. Those memories will fade to echoes. But I like to think that in our pet cemetery behind the house, they’re becoming part of the world. And the echoes of what they were will never end, they’ll spread and change, but they’ll always be there. Because I wouldn’t be who I am without them.

When I’m 60 I can remember sitting by the hutches and watching then while they warily watched me back, in case I was going to nick their silverbeet. I can remember how we couldn’t tell them apart so we put a felt tip mark on the inside of their ears, and it wore off within a day. I can remember how soft they always were, how they moved with that funny lolloping gait. The way they ate, this kind of high speed gnawing with those tiny teeth. How they used to stand up against the door of their hutches then they saw you coming with food. It seems silly, and simple. But it’s hard to describe the joy in those memories. It’s like… something warm and rich that fills you right up so you feel like you’re glowing and somehow you want to cry and laugh at the same time, and you almost can’t bear to sit still because you can’t contain it, but you couldn’t bear to move in case you lose that feeling.

I have a lifetime to feel that. I’m not done crying for Smooch yet. I’m not done crying for the end of an era specific to myself and my immediate family. I will finish crying eventually. But I will never stop remembering, and that feeling of joy and gratitude will never, ever leave me.

In our pet cemetery, we have our three dogs – Inga, Ah-min ra and Serena, plus a puppy that my sister found hit by a car, we couldn’t find the owner so we buried her as one of ours. There’s two lovebirds – Lucas and Charlie, two ducks, numerous other birds that fell victim to the cats before we could save them. There’s one cat – Patch (aka fruitcake), numerous goldfish, and two rabbits – Cookie and Smooch. We usually bury mice in the garden, somewhere the cats won’t dig them up.

The place just has long grass, and a few bumps. But it’s peaceful there. Part of me doesn’t want the house to ever be sold, for it to become something else, but really, everything becomes something else, and if it didn’t, no one else would ever have the chance to experience what I have, and no one should live their lives without such a feeling.

So… Goodbye Smoochy bunny. This is one of your echoes. You gave me two lifetimes. You gave me a miracle every day you lived, and you’ll give me one every day of my life. Thank you.

Dad’s busy moving around, he’s going over after mass. Me too. I’m not a catholic.

Pick my way through the mess in the room. Scrawl down some ideas. Gotta make this one work… nothing else has. Climb into the armchair with the footrest permanently up. Cross legs, hunch forward, sip water.

Look up photos of old TVs, they’re all the ones with the buttons on the side, not the bottom. And I can’t remember what colours they use for those stripes at the end of videos. It’s been so long since I saw it.

Do I have time to put one of the old videos in the player? We still have the old duel player.

Father’s watching TV. He’s in his collared blue polo shirt with his long beige trousers. One leg hooked over the arm of the large leather chair. He wants to watch the end of shortland street. Something about a kid with autism and a girl being an activist. I want to pretend I don’t know who at least one of the characters is. And I’m surprised because I don’t recognise the new girl. Or the kid.

It’s over. I put in the tape. There’s three remotes. The tv is silver, it weighs as much as I do. There’s only one set of batteries. Switch them back and forth, hit the right buttons, swear at the tv. Get the stripes, notice that they include colours i didn’t expect, like pale yellow, two kinds of blue, realise it must be because the TV is so wide, the last one I saw the stripes on was half it’s width. Run to get cellphone to take picture. It’s gone when I get back. Can’t get it back. Stupid thing.

Time to go over. I can hear the voices.

I walk down the steps off the veranda, spot Dad picking grass for the rabbits, then follow the path round the house to the silverbeet patch. I grew it myself, there’s curly kale there too. The rabbits can eat both. Ever since Smooch got sick I’ve been careful. I nursed him for a week… I was so scared.

I pick some silverbeet and kale for them. They come running to the doors of their hutches, and take the food out of my hands. They usually let me pat them if there’s food in it for them. I sit and watch them sometimes. Toby, the tame rabbit who thinks he’s wild, is moulting (I spelt that wrong to begin with. Tom gave me the right spelling). He’s half cinnamon and half white, with tufts coming off everywhere. I close the hutch.

My pony can see me through the fence. He’s whuffling at me. I poke a handful or two of grass through to him. I tell mother that he’s whuffling. We always talk about the animals. I can’t remember a time when we didn’t.

Mother’s coming back through the gate, holding her notebook. She’s making a speech, she’s been practising all day. Part of me wants to edit it, make it… better. Make it sound like those impassioned speeches you hear in movies, or read in essays. I’ve been feeling numb, cynical and cold all day. My mind is like this hard, cold little ball, I can feel it behind my eyes.

The house is right next to the church, and the hall is just down this little hill. The older ones have trouble with the hill. They’re all old, really.

I have a sketch book and pencil with me. I have this image of myself sitting on the grass sketching something, and having somebody notice me, be fascinated, or just want to talk to me.

My Dad spots Mr Roach, he’s about 105 I think. He’s irish, he’s got three relatives with him. He’s sitting on his mobility scooter. Dad reminds him who he is. He shakes his hand. He looks so thin.

The hall is hot. So hot. The kind of hot that makes the air feel thick, like you’re walking through soup, breathing it in. My little sister is there… she’s taller than me. The scar in the middle of her chest is visible above the neckline of her dress. She’s got baby blue on over a beige dress. High heels even.

Outside there’s the smell of smoke. I hate people smoking, makes me feel sick. But inside the heat presses in. There’s not a single thing I can see that’s vegetarian friendly. I’m trying to lose weight anyway. Wish I’d had time to make those banana muffins. I like making those, people tell me how good they are.

I feel awkward, wandering through the people, the only ones even close to my age are my sister’s friends.

I watch a kid I’ve known and thought was awesome since he was knee high, telling another kid how much he’s grown. He’s even showing the other kid where he used to come up to on him. I remember thinking the same thing. I remember people telling it to me. They weren’t 12 at the time, but still. I remember.

I walk outside, see my sister sitting down with her friends. I go to tell them about what I’ve just seen. I get the ‘fuck off’ vibe pretty clearly. Fair enough, I still feel lost.

I make a few more circuits through the crowd. They’re all so old. There’s parents with young kids though, somewhere in the crowd.

I wander back up the hill, talk to my pony briefly, my old man. He’s whuffling every time I go past, telling me that dinner is late and he shall complain to the management. He has this deep, throaty sort of a nicker, it sounds a bit like an old man grumbling, but he can somehow put all this meaning into it, it’s got an edge of urgency, and a healthy dose of disapproval, and a sort of hopeful, slightly scared trust, like he wants to believe Mum will bring dinner, but he remembers when I’ve let him down before. His paddock is next to the house. My big horse looks on hopefully.

Mother’s working on her speech. I tell her I’m a bit out of place. She tells me I can hang out with her. Ok, sure…

We go back over. Mother almost immediately detaches, to talk to other people. It’s like building a maze out of people.

Some one spots the pencil behind my ear and asks to borrow it. They’re talking to Sister Joan. The reason we’re all here.

She’s wearing a long blue dress. It’s hard to imagine her without a cardigan. I remember when my pony sneezed green all over her cardigan when I was twelve.

I get water. The hall is so hot. The noise isn’t a drone so much as a roar, echoes bouncing until it’s not a series of sounds but a creature itself. It could be louder, I’ve heard louder.

I wander outside, and spot Fergus, the kid I saw earlier. He’s sitting with my sister. When I sit down he asks me if I liked my Christmas present. He tells me that since I broke my sisters colander he and his family gave her a new one. My sister tells him that my horse broke it. I tell them both that it was broken to begin with, but my horses probably had a hand in it. I think about adding ‘hoof’, but don’t say it. I tell him the last time I saw him he nearly split his skull on an axe. It’s a long story.

Fergus tells me he got a new air rifle. I ask him how many feet per second? 1000? Break barrel or pump? Break? Spring or gas? Spring? Really? for 1000fps? He says maybe it’s compressed air. I say that usually compressed air is pump or it has a canister. My dad comes over, says hello to Fergus. I ask him if a spring can do 1000fps. Fergus says he thinks the spring is about 30lbs. Yeah, that’s do it.

My sister tells me off for talking over Fergus’s head to Dad.

My sisters friends come back, one of them is Fergus’ older sister. He steals a cream puff, and it squirts cream on him. It’s already happened to my sister and another of her friends. We’re sitting at picnic tables outside. People are moving around. It’s dusk. It’s so nice and cool outside.

My sister and her friends go to sit at another table. We’re not cool enough for them. It’s not so hurtful now as a little bit funny.

Somehow Fergus and I get to talk about technology, the ages of man, the development of science, how the winners write the history books, and future tech. When everybody’s called inside for the official part of the evening, we’re discussing atomic structure. He knows more than I do. It makes me think of the comic I just finished, transmetropolitan, with their ‘makers’ that produce goods by shifting atoms around. At the end they say that made never tastes as good as grown.

We find a seat. Fergus teases my mother about practicing her speech. I didn’t tell him, my sister did.

Fergus asks me for the recipe to a salsa I made a few years ago. I write it down for him in my sketchbook.

Somebody I don’t know starts talking into the mic.

Then he calls up my mother to make her speech.

For the first minute I’m still absently writing down the recipe. The hall is silent.

She talks in a slightly too soft voice, the pacing is off, she loses her place a bit. She talks about the history of the Brigidine nuns, how Sister Joan first came to the community. She starts with a greeting in maori. People look at her a bit funny. There aren’t many maori people here. But I think she means it. It sounds trite to me, but I think she means it.

She starts to talk about the things people say about Sister Joan… none of them are epic, or impassioned, or poetic. They’re the awkward, unelegant, and heartfelt truth. They mean every word.

I’m fighting not to cry. My throat aches. The speech is nearly ten minutes long. It isn’t riveting, but no one looks away.

I want my mother to talk in words that capture the truth, the kind of truth that reaches out and wraps itself around you and paints a whole reality for every sense, something so fitting and accurate that somehow it could do justice to Sister Joan.

But really… flashy words aren’t my mother. Flashy words aren’t these people. Flashy words aren’t really even me. I just wish they were. I don’t know why.

When the speech is over, they clap.

Sister Joan gets up, slowly. She starts to talk, but the mic isn’t close enough and she speaks so softly. They shift the mic a little. She always talks slowly, and softly, and pauses when she needs to think of the words and catch her breath. She doesn’t do big flashy words either, but she’s the kind of person where a simple “thank you” is better than a flourish of trumpets. She’s the kind of person you can’t help but love, even if you could never appreciate her enough.

They show her the computer desk they bought for her, and two kids roll up the brand new chair. She’s going to write in her new home, in masterton, with the last of the Brigidine sisters. There’s only 14 left. They’re dying. In a few years… there won’t be any. I have a breif moment imagining the last one.

One of the sisters from the Brigidine order makes a speech, thanking us for taking care of Joan, and saying how Joan has always preached without words. And she’s right.

Then it’s over. Fergus’ mother tells him they have to go. I tear out the salsa recipe and hand it to him. I probably won’t see him again for another year. I like that kid. Somehow he’s kept the Zimbabwean accent despite having been in NZ for nearly a decade.

I wander the hall. I want to talk to Sister Joan, but so does everybody else. She’s leaving tomorrow afternoon.

I talk to Mr Roach, he’s so thin… it takes a few minutes before he realises who I am. I’m not sure if he really does, all the same. He’s deaf as a post, got no teeth. But his handshake… that scares me. I’ve never known him not to have a strong handshake. I was frightened I’d break his hand. He’s so frail.

They’re all so frail. The parish is growing older. It’s dying. I look at the photos on the board of Sister Joan, she’s in the background in most of them, doing things with people. She always had time for people, for anyone. She always listened. She always cared.

I’m not a catholic. It shouldn’t matter to me that the church seems to be dying. But it does. It matters to me that something holding these people together, for better or for worse, that has done good, that could produce and take care of people like Sister Joan, is dying.

But there are young people there, kids mostly, none of the people I went to school with are there, none of the ones who went to church every day long after I stopped. Where are they? It would have been awkward to talk to them anyway.

I wander outside. The school is right next to the hall. I went there as a kid. I find the swings. It’s all different now. More gardens, more artwork. I hated this place so much, until just before I left.

I love swings. It’s one of those things you don’t really remember until you do it again. I’m afraid the creaky old chains won’t take my weight, but they complain, and hold. I love the feel of the air rushing past me, playing with my hair.

I imagine some one seeing me, being fascinated by me. I think about sharing this with Tom. Wanting to share it with him, wondering if he’d understand it. I don’t know. But I also think that you can never share all of yourself with some one, you can show it, yes, but to share is a two way thing, and you can’t completely connect on everything. Even if he didn’t understand, it’d still be special to me. He’d still be special. I’d still love him.

I’ve always wanted to jump off the swing at it’s highest point, the way the kids used to at school. I’m too scared to even now.

After dragging my shoes along the ground to slow down I eventually stagger off the swing and wander back to the hall.

I can see Mr Roach getting into a car, his relatives are with him, helping him in. He’s got family all around him. He won’t die alone. What a wonderful thing. In all the photos he always looks so stern, he always wears the stern expression. He has those diamond blue eyes. They remind me of how I read in a book about eyes like that being called gimlets. He’s totally different from Sister Joan, but he’s just the same… the way we all think of him, even if we haven’t seen him for months, or years. God it’s been years… and I’ve been here every week. He’s important, he’s… he’s the foundations. And he’ll keep being the foundations long after his name has been forgotten.

I wander up the hill. I want to cry so badly. I go into the horse paddock. And I pat my pony. He’s 28. He’s unsteady on his feet. Every day I worry, and worse, some days I don’t, and I feel guilty.

Sister Joan will be gone tomorrow. I tried to talk to her, but somebody else cut in front, I don’t know what I would have said anyway. So much for fancy words.

I’m crying now. Not for long though. When I’ve given my pony a kiss, much to his disgust. I go to get his cover on the other side of the paddock. My horse is waiting for me. I cuddle him too. I love them both so much. It’s the kind of love that runs in the blood, you don’t notice your heart beat, but you couldn’t live without it.

I start to think. The fear that today is the last day should never destroy today. Otherwise, it robs me of today.

My pony spots me coming with the cover, he puts his ears back, turns his bum on me and stalks away. I start to laugh. I’m crying too. He’s such a prick.

I put his cover on. I love him so much. I start to think about writing this evening down on the blog. I like to write. I like to imagine other people reading, and hearing my voice.

He follows me to the gate, and when I look around he pretends he wasn’t following me. I look at the last of the sunset. It’s beautiful. I think about how in the past few days everything that’s seemed important has overshadowed all this. All this beauty, all this laughter and love. I imagine people seeing me in my nice purple top and brown pants, with mud from my horse’s nose on them, and a black layer of dirt on my fingertips. Somehow… I feel more comfortable like this. Part of me wants to be the glamourous person who can tell others about simplicity. But this… this really is… peaceful. Soak it all up. Breathe it all in. It’s all there. It’s so beautiful. I’m teetering on the edge of tears. It’s a sort of stinging in my eyes and a kind of very mild ache in my head and throat. That ebbs and flows

Then I go into the section.

Lucifer, my sisters lovebird is screaming. You can hear him from outside. He’s so loud. It drives you mad sometimes. But I love him. So much. He’s this little ball of feathers and mischief and vivid, wild colour, and he’ll have your finger off in half a second if the mood strikes him. But he’ll curl up in the hollow of my sisters neck and croon. He adores her. Some people say animals don’t know love. They know it better than we do.

I turn on the hose to the horses’ trough, and get some food for the rabbits. They’re wonderful. Smooch is nearly 10. He’s ancient according to the vet. I think about how to word the blogr rub. She only likes them on her terms, like everything else. She was as black as night once, and glossy, with post, which bits should I include? Should I talk about just the farewell part, or everything? Should I talk about my thoughts and ponderings and conclusions? Or everything?

Spot, my cat is laying on the lawn. I sit down in front of her, and pat her. She wants an ear rub. It’s a special privilege to give her an eathis dense coat that was some kind of hybrid between silk and velvet. She’s tired of me patting her now. I pull up a bit of grass and drag it back and forth in front of her.  She chases it, she rolls on her side, bites and swats. Then I get another piece of grass. She redoubles her efforts, gets bored and wanders under the trailor. I throw some grass at her, trying to get her to play. Nothing doing. She’s 17. I’ve had her since I was 6. I love her. She’s more of a warm brown now, with white whiskers. My eyes are stinging a bit.

I listen to the birdsong. I think about how people look for happiness in so many things… things that, when you’re sitting trying to spot the birds you can hear in the trees, seem kinda distant.

I roll up the windows on my car, I left them open this morning. And I go to mix up the horse feed.

There’s a six foot fence between the second and the paddock, I can just see Nick’s ears over the top. I think about how much I love him and Cracker (my horse). I think about doing a cartoon of a person being able to see just the ears of a horse, pricked up over a fence. Ears tell a lot about a horse.

The sugar beet I forgot to give them yesterday is still soaked. I put a few handfuls in a bucket for the horse and mix the rest in with big handfuls of chaff and coolfeed for the pony. The horse gets a handful or two of each. I think to myself, bent over the bucket with greens and slightly gooey beet halfway to my elbows, I always forget how much I miss the simple, dirty jobs until I do them again. It feels good, in a way that sort of skips my brain and kinda just settles into my limbs.

It’s not the exercise part… or maybe it is. It just… it’s not just in my head. I count out the tablespoons of the supplements. 4 tablespoons of yeast, two of dolomite, one of devils claw, four of senior blend, and a teaspoon of liquid seaweed. That’s just for Nick. Cracker gets a teaspoon of seaweed and two tablespoons of dolomite. I mix up the feed some more.

One bucket is heavy, the other is light.

My pony, Nick, follows me along the fenceline till I get to the gate. He whuffles and prances and tosses his head in the air. I dump the food over the fence. Cracker is nickering to me now too. He canters up and down the tape that seperates him and Nick. He’s big, and brown and he’s so gentle I can introduce him to toddlers.

When I tell him to remember his manners he takes a step back, and I give him a handful of the feed, he tosses his head around, impatient. I give him the rest. I stop for a moment. I love them so much. I want to cry, but I love them so much.

As I pass Nick on my way back, I reach out to pat him, he tosses his head and glares at me. How dare I interrupt him. Eventually, with some persistences, I get a goodnight kiss. You can’t escape Mum-kisses, they follow you everywhere.

Spot is laying stretched out on the path now, she doesn’t move as I walk around her. I disconnect the hose and use it to fill the buckets.  The water runs fast, beating at the bucket, but I feel… tranquil. I think about how to write this part. The writer in me wants to capture the frantic movement of the water, the little roar of it, the hiss of the tap. But I feel… slow, calm. I hold my hand under the tap. The water runs off my fingers in four trails. It’s white water, everything but my eyes and ears think it’s a gentle stream. The water’s so deliciously cold on my hands.

The buckets are heavy, I drag them back to the garage. I’m thinking about the post. Present tense. Short sentences. That’s it.  I start to count out the handfuls of sugarbeet to soak for tomorrow. It’s normally four for Nick, and two for Cracker, but I want to feed Nick in the morning now too. So two more.

I’m thinking about the post again, committing every detail to memory.  I think about saying this piece. I want this to be heard. For once… I don’t want people to hear me, I want them to hear this. This is important.

I close the garage, and walk back up the path to the front door. I’m thinking about how when people leave, we get a kind of a kick start, a reminder that life is short, not to worry about the little stuff, to appreciate what’s in front of us. But we forget so easily, we slip back into this… this sort of coma. So… I think about proposing that everyone takes it upon themselves to remind just one other person about the beauty in the world in one way or another, each day. I like that idea.  I have breif images of sending trite texts, and dismiss it. The idea of giving some one a flower for no reason somehow seems… more fitting.

I go inside, walking up the hall, my arms are scritchy and gritty with bits of horsefeed. I idly pick horsefeed out from under my nails. I wash my hands. I rinse my face. The water feels so good. I love splashing water over my face. There’s something so refreshing about it. I look at myself in the mirror for a few seconds. Just my face. I normally inspect my body, turn sideways, suck in my stomach. There’s no towel, so I dry my face on an old shirt.

I pick my way through the debris of my room. I climb into the old armchair. I type in the url, I log in.

I begin to write.

Not big fancy words. Just… everything. Every detail, every vain, selfish thought, every heartbeat and every breath, every sensation. All the sadness and all the joy and the love, the dirt and the water and the cool dusk air. All through this I’ve cried and smiled and laughed and I’ll probably continue to do so. I’ll say goodbye to Sister Joan tomorrow. I don’t know if this will change how I do things… but I hope so. I hope that this is heard, by some one. And I hope it makes a difference. Not the kind that you see in movies. But something awkward, honest, and real.

Headings

Headings are a good way to break your content up into pieces. For example, in this article, the different tips will be under individual headings. This allows readers to skim the article and pick up the gist of it, skip to the part they want, and it’s tidier and more organized.

Example heading structure:

Heading 2

Ideal for section titles, or subsections if you use H1 (many blogs use H1 for the site header, so avoid it if you’re not sure)

Heading 3

Heading 3 is good for subsections, for example, this post uses H2 for the title “Gear”, and then H3 for the subsection “cutting down costs”.

You can use other headings, such as H4 and H5, but unless they’ve been specifically defined they tend to be smaller than your text. For any headings smaller than that you could just use bolded text.

Lists

Lists are best used when you have a lot of pieces of content, say the ingredients for an apple pie, that don’t need a lot of explanation.

This post uses pullet points for the ingredients lists in the first section.

You should avoid using lists for content that has a lot of info attached and instead use sub sections or sub sub sections like this post does. You can title them with either a header or by bolding the first sentence.

There are two types of list:

Bullet Points

Bullet points are ideal for any list that isn’t in a specific order. Some examples are;

• Ingredient lists
• Gear or parts lists
• Exercises
• Acknowledgments (e.g. sponsors, donations)

Numbered lists

These are good for when your items need to be in order. Most commonly they’re used for instructions or rankings.  How to decide if you need a numbered list.

1. Ask yourself “does it matter what order the content is in?”
2. Can this order be served by an ordinary bulleted list?
3. If you answer yes to the first question, and no to the second, then you need a numbered list. Go make one.

You can also use sub lists. For example;

Bridget’s articles

• Recipes
  • Desserts, cakes, scones, etc
  • Vegetarian
  • Soups
• Marketing
  • Websites
  • Social networking
  • Design
• Causes
  • Animal rights
  • Human rights

Lists are meant for summarising and outlining. If you have a lot to get through in an article, you could try listing the sections first, and then making a section for each item later in the article and going into detail there.

Introduction paragraphs

At the start of your articles, unless they’re really short,  it’s a great idea to have an introduction paragraph. This gives viewers a run down on the post or article, and it also gives search engines a bunch of juicy keywords in the first few lines.

Your intro could include;

• What the article is about (essential)
• Why what the article talks about is useful/important/interesting (important)
• Who you, the author are (not essential)
• What qualifies you to write this article (helpful, especially if you’re not submitting to your own site or you don’t have much content up yet)

For bigger articles an introduction sentence or paragraph for each section can be a good idea.

Images

You shouldn’t go overboard with images, but they’re definitely a great way to add another dimension to your post, and they can be helpful in terms of giving instructions or examples.

Size

The ideal size for an image depends on it’s importance, how easy it is to see what it is of, the size of your site layout, and how much text is going to be grouped around it. A good rule of thumb is 150×150 pixels for small images (avatars, symbols etc), and a max of 300 wide for photos or other larger images – 250 is more ideal. You can always have the pictures enlarge on click.

This is the logo for the upcoming 60s musical “A slice of Saturday night”

This image doesn’t have much detail so it can be nice and small. There also isn’t a lot of text alongside it.

Now lets look at a bigger image;

This is a picture of me with Tom Ryder’s cat Pants (yes, that’s her name). She was purring at the time, whatever her expression looks like.

There’s a fair bit more detail in this than the Slice logo, but the photo doesn’t need to be huge to get the point across.

This photo is 250 pixels wide. It’s a wee bit taller though, and I don’t really have enough content to fit alongside it, so I either have to use up some space with my rambling, or else throw in some line breaks, maybe both. Sometimes line breaks don’t work properly on blogs, so have a play around and see what you can do. Hey, I wrote enough stuff to fill the space. Sweet.

Alignment

Alignment is something a lot of new bloggers don’t know about. There’s usually an option when you add your image to align it to the left, right or center. This is important because if you don’t align your image it will be treated like a gigantic letter and look like this;

Words words WHOA KITTY!

Doesn’t look so great huh?

Left is a good standard (like I did earlier), though sometimes right aligning an image for some variety is a good idea. Center aligning an image means it gets a line of it’s own and it’ll sit in the center. This is good for when you have large images that for some reason need to be big. Photography is a good example of this.

Padding

Sometimes called vertical and horizontal space, padding is a good idea for all your images, particularly horizontal padding. This stops the text from being hard up against the edge of your image, like a buffer.

Without padding	With Padding
Words and suchlike go here. Notice how they’re squashed right up against the picture?	This version has a horizontal padding of 5 pixels. Much better.

Bold, Underline and Italics

These are all useful ways of highlight particular parts of a post that are important or that you want to look different without giving them a big heading of their own. They’re also useful for highlighting keywords or emphasizing particular words or sentences. Don’t go overboard with these though.

Because too much of a good thing is bad.

Like that.

It’s a good idea to pick a general sort of theme for these.  For example use italics to emphasise words, underline for keywords, and bold for mini headings or the first few words of paragraphs.

Tables

Tables are ideal for laying out content that requires columns. Not all blogs will make these automatically but once you know the code they’re not too difficult.

For example;

Those are the rates for my business – Genkii Design Solutions.

Conclusions

A brief conclusion paragraph is a good idea too. Just briefly sum up what you’ve covered, and add a goodbye note.

And on that note, hopefully these tips will help you improve your blog posts.

Animals

Kidnapping the cat for a cuddle always makes me feel better. Sitting with the rabbits for a few minutes and watching them demolish silverbeet and kale is surprisingly calming – and I’ve known people who were uninterested in rabbits before to have found just watching them very interesting and relaxing. A cuddle with my horses is always beneficial, and anyone who has a horse will know how good they smell.

If you have a pet, or you know a local duck pond, or something similar, take time out, even five minutes, to appreciate them. Focus your mind on the animal and enjoy the little details about them. The softness of a cat’s coat, the scent of a horse, the way ducks waddle, it can be cute or beautiful or interesting or funny, take a moment to really appreciate it. Interact with the animals, be calm and move slowly. It’s worth it.

Nature

Spend some time outdoors amidst nature. Lie down on the grass, climb a tree, go for a swim in the river. Listen to the sounds, breathe in the scents, study the details. I like listening to the wind in the trees. You could try watching a sunset, and focus on taking in every detail, bit by bit, and soak up the image.

At the beach

• Feel the sand between your toes
• Build a sand castle
• Enjoy the feeling of the waves lapping over your feet
• Listen to the sound of the surf
• Enjoy the scent of the sea
• Enjoy the breeze
• Study the dunes and the shells and driftwood
• Enjoy the coolness of the water and go for a swim
• Jump and sway in the waves, don’t be afraid to feel like a kid again – kids are experts at simple pleasures.

The trees

• Climb up and sit, watch the world go by
• Close your eyes and listen to the wind in the leaves and the sound of birdsong
• Study the texture of the wood, note any moss, any knots. Follow the shape of the tree, with your hands or you eyes.
• Notice and appreciate the scent of the trees and the grass around you.
• Lie down under a tree and enjoy the shade.
• Watch the way the light turns to a mottled green as it comes through the leaves.

Games

A lot of us find it easy to get addicted to complicated games like wow and counter strike, but it’s worth learning some older games. Card games are surprisingly relaxing because they help to teach focus and they can be played alone or with others. It’s also a great way to connect with the generation before you.

Try out board games too, or play with the kids, tag, hide and seek, hop scotch. Don’t be afraid to be silly. That’s what having fun is about – freedom.

You might also enjoy a quiet crossword puzzle, or a game of sudoku. Just focus on enjoying it, not timing yourself or worrying about winning.

Sports are also a great idea, set up a short game of something with a friend, or just hit a tennis ball against a wall for a while.

Food and drink

The interesting thing about modern society is that while many of us do overeat, and don’t eat healthily, most of us don’t actually stop to really enjoy our food.

We tend to wolf things down, and we have the vague sense that we want more, and we say it tasted good, but could we really explain why? Was it because of the slight tangy aftertaste? The soft melting texture? The hint of spice – was that nutmeg? Bet most of us couldn’t really say.

Have a go at eating very slowly. Inspect your food, the way it looks and smells, really pay attention, and for each mouthful, notice the texture, all the different layers of flavour, chew slowly, and don’t swallow till you’ve fully appreciated each mouthful.

Not only will this make eating more enjoyable, it’ll also mean you’re actually likely to eat less. If you eat slowly you become aware of being full or of getting tired of a flavour much sooner, so that huge bowl of ice cream, when properly studied, doesn’t seem as nice as a bananas with a scoop of ice cream. The other thing you’ll notice is that you might tend to move away from highly processed foods. Unrefined foods have a way of tasting better the more you eat them. I hardly ever eat ice cream now, because most of the ice creams on the market don’t taste that great when you really focus on them. A bowl of kiwifruit, strawberries, pineapple chunks and banana, however, does.

Same goes for drinks, drinking more slowly is also an excellent idea when it’s a hot drink. Nothing worse than burning your tongue. I like to really savour a cup of tea with a few biscuits. The warmth of the tea in my hands, the steam rising off it. The soft milky texture of the biscuits after they’ve been dunked to within an inch of their lives.  Focusing on something simple has an immensely relaxing effect.

Be social

The rules of social interaction are kinda complicated sometimes, and we get a bit caught up in how to act around each other. Sharing simple pleasures with friends is immensely good for the soul.

Something a lot of women contend with is being nervous around silence when dealing with another adult. I think humans in general when talking have trouble with listening.

Try looking at a conversation from the perspective of learning something new about the other person. Give them your full attention, focus on what they say, and how they say it. What little quirks do they have? Do they speak fast or slow, do they pronounce certain words differently to others?

Ask questions, and really commit this stuff to memory. It’s excellent for strengthening bonds and also for refining your ability to pick up information.

Sometimes just a phone call, or a drink at a cafe, or maybe a walk can be just what you need to unwind. Try a movie, or a board game, or invite somebody round to try out a new recipe.

What simple pleasures do you really enjoy? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

The free gift with purchase has been a long standing tradition of the infomercial and product launch world. Free samples are employed regularly by companies the world over.

So how do we harness this when we’re on a budget? That’s the big thing, money is tight for everyone. What a lot of us forget is that what we have to give needn’t cost us money.

This article for example; it’s free to you. It does take up some time and effort on my part, and it is a result of my experiences and research, but ultimately very little monetary cost could be attributed to it.

Now, here’s what the article is doing;

• It’s giving you an indication of what I know
• It’s showing you how I talk and probably a little bit about how I think
• It’s giving you some potentially helpful advice and ideas , for free
• There’s a good chance that if you’re suitably impressed by this article, you’ll come back to the site

What’s happening is the very beginnings of a relationship between you and I, and we’ve never met. There will be those among you who willjust read and go, and never think twice about me again, but I do that with some other stuff. Ultimately if the content is good enough people will return. And when those people need a web designer, they might be a little more inclined to call me. Or tell others about me.

And here’s the thing – the same thing is happening with every single person who reads this. My site may not have an audience of thousands, but I’ve still managed to make a connection with a bucnh of people I never met personally, and I only had to write this article once.

The same principles apply when meeting people personally too. People almost always have questions of some kind about websites ad computers when they find out what I can do, and I do my best to answer them. This helps a lot. I tend to link people to resources or articles (mine and others), and sometimes I do the odd bit of work for free – maybe an avatar or lightening a photo. Advice is always a good one, just be careful you don’t give it all away for free. It could be as simple as some encouragement regarding their work, sharing a recipe or a resource.

So how can this work for you?

Start by thinking about your site or business, and then think about your target markets. What can you give them that will make them happy, get them to try out your product or service, or simply put your brand to the forefront of their minds?

Say you’re a comic artist. Perhaps you can put up a tutorial showing how to draw basic characters. They’ll remember where they learned. I still link people to the drawing tutorials I learnt from (www.polykarbon.com, www.howtodrawmanga.com) some 1en years ago.

If you’re a book store, perhaps you could have a free reading session for kids once a week. Or have a “best books for age groups” newsletter.

If you’re a golf coach  you could offer cheap or free trial classes and free information about golf.

If you’re a saddlery (like Horsewyse) you could have tutorials for different horsey things.

If you’re a performing group you could have free videos.

The list goes on. And the internet means that it’s easier to give with less cost.

Have fun ^_^

Yeah, that sucks.

There’s lots of great information out there about the reasons for lowering your stress levels, from a personal and a business perspective – you need fewer sick days, you’re more productive, easier to work with, deal with customers and other associates better, your homelife and your health improves and your significant other doesn’t recoil in horror when a pale zombie crawls into bed at 2am, and spends the night screaming that the Jipson account was done two weeks ago, damnit.

The most effective way to lower your stress levels would be an already lifestyle change, eat right, exercise, work a little less, segment your time and leave work outside of certain places, however that’s something that you’ll have to decide to do as and when you’re ready/having enough heart attacks.

So, in the meantime, here are a few ideas to help lower your stress levels during your work day.

Meditate

Meditation is popular these days, and not without cause. It can be hard to master as first, especially in a busy environment, but if you try just one step at a time you’ll develop the ability to calm yourself quickly, which will serve you well in every area of your life. Try out this simple exercise, and then have a look at some others, and explore which style works best for you.

1. Sit comfortably, try not to slouch, but don’t be too tense.
2. Focus on your breathing, inflate your lungs slowly, all the way down so your stomach is rising as well as your chest. Count slowly to 5 as you breathe in, and then 5 again as you breathe out. If you can’t make it to 5, try 3 and gradually increase the length of your breaths. The aim is to make each exhale the same length as it’s exhale.
3. Gradually increase the length of each breath until you make it to ten, or just go as high as you comfortably can, say try 5 lots of counting-to-5, then 5 of counting-to-6, go more slowly if you need to.
4. If any intrusive thoughts or distractions enter your mind, just gently acknowledge the thought and let it drift away, and return your focus to counting and breathing.
5. From here, you could try visualising a calm scene, I often find visualising a sequence of events helps me, like following a leaf down a stream. You might find one particular image works better for you, or a whole scene, or a memory. Gently explore and see what you come up with.
6. If you find yourself getting distracted, observe the distraction, then return to your breathing.
7. When you’re ready, start to count your breathes again, and gradually take notice of your surroundings, one sensation at a time, start with one sense, say your ears, and take in each noise, one by one. When you’re fully aware of your surroundings, stretch out your limbs slowly, stand up, stretch some more, take a few deep breaths, and you’re good to go for a while.

Exercise

Yeah, everybody says it, but a little bit of exercise during the workday helps a lot more than you think. If you have time to go to the gym, awesome, do that, and your personal trainer will tell you what to do. If you don’t, or don’t want to, try out some of these;

Yoga

Yeah, this one can be awkward, but give it a go, you might be surprised, look up a few basic stretches restorative poses (in fact, talk to Kim from Palmy Yoga), and just do them maybe once a day – there’s a lot of poses you can try out, so there’s bound to be something you can find to suit the space available. If you haven’t got an office, try in the staff room. Better yet, the elevator. Sure, people will probably look at you funny, but I bet you’ll feel better, and life’s more fun when you’re the local crazy, nobody expects you to remember their name, and you can hum to yourself and nobody takes any notice.

Office chair workout

Set a little routine up for yourself, say five sets of different exercises, and do them on breaks, when you just can’t get your head around a problem, when you’re frustrated, etc.

• Dips – Put both hands on the edge of the chair, make sure it isn’t going to roll away, and then lift yourself off the edge of the chair, move your feet out about a foot, and then lower your hips, then push yourself back up again using your arms. Use your legs if you need to. Go as low as you feel comfortable. Try 5 of these to start with and work your way up to two sets of 15.
• Leg extension – Sit up  straight in your chair with your feet flat on the floor, then straighten one leg so it’s horizontal, then bring your foot back to the floor. Repeat with your other leg. If you have bad knees this can help, but go easy to start with. Aim for 2 sets of 15.
• Bicep curl – Grab a water bottle, a paper weight, something like that, and use it like a dumbbell. Go slow and steady, and aim for 15 reps on either arm.
• Knee raises – Sit up straight, with your feet flat on the floor. Then raise both your knees up, hold them for a second and then lower them again, aim to do this slowly, and keep your back straight and your stomach tight the whole way through. Start out with 5 reps, and go slowly, this one is great for the back and abs but do be careful not to overdo it, especially if you have back problems.

Look up other office exercises to supplement these basic ones.

Office Circuit

Walk around the office, go up and down the stairs, find a reason to get up out of your chair and moving around – make coffee for everybody and deliver it. People will have a reason to be nice to you and you’ve got a good reason to be moving around. Deliver a file personally, do a few drive/walk bys of that cutie you’re too scared to talk to (leave your binoculars and camera at the desk).

Breaks

We forget breaks when we’re stressed, when we have a report to finish, when somebody just won’t-get-off-the-damn-phone-for-the-last-time-I-don’t-care-how-cute-your-dog-is.

Breaks are essential in physical exercise, or we damage the muscles. I’m not sure if that applies in a direct sense to the brain, but it definitely applies with regard to our peace of mind, our energy levels and our productivity.

Take regular breaks.

Micro breaks

These are especially important if you work in front of a computer a lot, or in any job that keeps you in the same position a lot of the time. Stop and blink a few times, look around, stretch out your wrists, neck and shoulders, stand up, walk back and forth a few times to get the circulation going.

Power naps

Everyone I talk to, especially in the IT industry finds little naps in the afternoon incredibly helpful. Just when we’re running out of steam 10-20 minutes snoozing helps recharge you enough to make it to 5pm.  Even if you don’t actually nap, just set your watch, cover your eyes and just focus on breathing, perhaps listen to music, recite a little mantra in your head every time thoughts of work intrude. Make those minutes your own. If somebody bothers you, tell them you’re refocusing and will be with them shortly.

Coffee breaks

Don’t miss your 15 minute breaks, use them as a reason to go outside for a bit, breathe in some fresh air, or relax on the couch in the staff room. Don’t stay cooped up and do not work through your breaks. If you’re stressed enough to work through them then you’re not being productive with your time, and a break without thoughts of work will recharge you and make you more productive. It’s like studying, you get to a point where you can’t cram anymore in, so you have to take a break and let it percolate.

Meal breaks

This also ties into your diet. Eat good food, stuff with a low fat and low sugar content and a low glyceamic index, for one thing your overall health will improve, but it will also give you more sustained energy over the day, and when we’re tired we get stressed more easily. It also costs less than buying from the vending machine or the starbucks, and more money is always good for lowering stress. Good examples are;

• Fruit pieces
• Pasta salad
• Yoghurt
• Nuts and seeds – trail mix type stuff (careful on the sugar content)
• Sandwiches with plenty of salad in them (add a nice dressing to make it more interesting)
• Burritos/Kebabs
• Healthy muffins or cookies (recipes here)

Do not skip meals. Your brain will stop functioning and you’ll get half as much done, while being twice as stressed. Also, your meal breaks are typically longer than coffee or short breaks, so make the most of them. Eat your lunch outside, listen to bird song, breath fresh air, admire the view from a window. Eat slowly, you don’t want indigestion, and paying attention to the taste and smell and texture of your food is not only enjoyable but relaxing. Make the most of your time, and use it to relax.

Music

Bring an mp3 player, or cd player, or a walkman if you’re old fashioned, bring a gramaphone if you want – people’ll probably think it’s a new fashion trend. Choose tracks appropriate to what you’re doing, upbeat music when you need it, and slower music when you have to concentrate. Try not to choose music that will distract you. Headphones are a most excellent idea if you have music on your computer.

Don’t be afraid to headbang, or even get up and dance sometimes, sing along if you want. Music is good for the soul, which helps keep the stress zombie toxins at bay. People will probably leave you alone if they think you’re crazy too.

Laugh

Laughter and smiling (along with exercise, eating chocolate and sex – all of them can be done at the office, take your pick) releases endorphins – nature’s happy hormone. Plus, it makes people wonder what you’re up to. The internet is a goldmine when it comes to comedy. It’s tempting to waste all day on this stuff, so be careful, but every so often a laugh is a good thing. Print out the stuff you like best and hang it on your wall/cubicle/back of co workers head.

Comics

There’s literally hundreds of thousands of free webcomics out there – to suit any sense of humour. A lot of them you can sign up for and get them sent straight to your email.

• Calvin and Hobbes
• Sinfest
• Dilbert
• XKCD (ideal for geeks and nerds)
• Strawberrycomics (comics by girls, for girls)
• Topwebcomics (general listing of webcomics, covers many genres)

Pictures of cute animals

Go on. Admit it. It’s ok. Everybody loves cute animals. Especially pictures of cute animals with captions. Be very, very careful with this one, they’re addictive.

• Icanhascheezeburger -  Just click it. You won’t be sorry.
• Lolcats
• World’s cutest animals
• Cute overload

Demotivational posters

Frankly, these are better than motivational posters. Just click them, seriously, if you can put up with “you don’t have to be crazy to work here, but it helps” then it can’t get any worse. Warning: Some of these are a bit off colour, but you should be fine, you’re a grown up.

• Despair
• Very demotivational
• Top 40 demotivational posters
• Demotivational posters

Videos

I’m not gonna link to any funny videos here because, while they are unquestionably awesome, they have a tendency to get people fired. So, yeah. Maybe not the videos.

Jokes

Self explanatory. Lots of these have mailing lists, so you can get em sent to you.

• Jokes Galore
• Siglets
• Jokes.com

Other stuff

• The Onion – without doubt the funniest newspaper ever.
• Senior citizen humour – Damn kids…
• The customer is not always right – this is for those of you in customer service
• Graphjam

Be social

Ok, don’t slack off, much. But connecting with people can really help. Try to avoid office politics, but a friendly conversation, maybe improving somebody else’s day is a good step towards chilling out.

• Ring your kids, your parents or you significant other. Maybe don’t have a long conversation, but say hi, how are you, escape from work for a moment, hear their news. Sometimes just hearing about certain things helps. For me it’s hearing how the animals are going, I have the neurotic ones that always do something funny.
• Write a letter or an email to an old friend on a break.
• Bring somebody who looks stressed a drink and a lolcat.
• Tell somebody they’re doing a good job.

Add your own relaxing tips. ^_^